We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
