oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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