He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
