btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
