No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
