"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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