i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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