Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
