So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
