Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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