when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
