i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
