I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
