So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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