My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
