i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
