she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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