I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
