i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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