Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
