We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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