living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
