Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
