He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
