Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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