it hurts more in the daytime
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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