Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
