i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
