Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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