I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
