sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
