Yo dont text me then not text me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
