My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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