wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Houston, we have a blender
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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