i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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