dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
