Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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