naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
