I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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