you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
