You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
