Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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