ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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