why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
