The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
