and you said cock pushups were impossible
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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