dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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