Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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