I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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