pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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